Two boys. Three years apart. And, at ages 5 and 2, they are becoming closer friends every day. They worship Dad but need Mommy. They snuggle and love and climb up onto my lap and they give me everything I have ever needed and allow me now to sit back with a contented sigh and say, "Yup. This is it. All I need."
And, really, I have not for one honest moment, had a second thought about the decision not to expand the clan further. I mean, sure, I love the feeling of a sleeping baby on my chest, the smell of their hair, the sound of their gentle breath. But, most of time I remember that I'm terrified that their gel-like necks will break, that they'll wake up and wail or that colic will force me to the local pharmacy for Xanax. I adore children but babies, more or less, terrify me. And, frankly, Ross and I are finally getting real sleep again (until 8 am on Saturday!). We have trusted sitters and can go out to dinner without worry. I can take a shower when both kids are awake and know that they won't choke on a marble while I'm gone. We're about six months from never changing a diaper again. We're in the groove. Start over? No, thank you.
But, we went on vacation last week with some friends. They also had two kids. A little boy who was all boy. Like, banging into walls, rough and tumble, crazy, funny little man. A boy.
But. They also had Alex. And, Alex is "little girl" without being excessively girly. She's sweet but not wimpy. She was chatty but not precocious. She was 3 1/2 but kept right up with my 5 year old. She took a liking to Ross, which melted my heart over and over again -- snuggling up to him on the couch, dog-paddling him down in the pool, giggling at his attention. I don't know how many times I picked up teeny, tiny little princess doll shoes and scooped them into a small pile and I loved it every time. A little girl. Cutie pie. Her parents have done a nice job with her. And, I was, admittedly, a little jealous.
I bought her a little pink princess bracelet at Disney and could have gotten her about a million other little things throughout the trip. Because there are so many cute girl things out there in little person land. And basically nothing for boys if you aren't desperately seeking some ridiculous sailor suit or a black t-shirt with hideously gaudy designs.
Still, I'm reminded of one of my very favorite lines about having boys versus girls. It came to me from a male friend in Vermont who has only daughters. A father of two boys once said to him:
"You know what, man? I have to worry about two penises. But, YOU have to worry about the rest of them."
I wouldn't change my mind, of course. I love my boys madly and they (in the cheezy words of Jerry Maguire) complete me. They have completed our little family. But, last week, for just a few moments...
A girl.
Shoot.
I, similar to you, married a man with only a brother. No sisters, just two boys. And a better man I couldn't have found. Something about the way he revers me, his daughtere, his mother. He was taught respect at the knee of an amazing woman and he, to this day. loves woman, for their strenghts as well as their weaknesses. You are the caretaker of sons. Gorgeous, charming, brilliant and well behaved little boys. Boys that will grow up funny, articulate, smart...and lovers of woman. And then, one day, they will marry woman (maybe, not that they have to, not that there's anything wrong with that...etc etc...) And two future daughters will feel loved for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteDaughters are special, so special in fact that god gave you sons, because he's trusting you with the caretaking of everyone ELSES daughters. He knows that you will raise good men, the best sort of men. Men that will respect woman. Your son's will be fathers and husbands to woman and just be being you, you will have changed the lives of many "little girls" down the road.
Not that that was your point at all. But I'm just saying from the outside lookikng in, if anyone was meant to guide young men, young minds, God coouldn't have found a better mom.
xoxo